Happy Valentine’s Day, my loves. Today I’m going to chat a little bit about how to keep your relationships (romantic, platonic, and everything in between) healthy. Keeping your relationships in tip top shape is one of the easiest ways to control some of the stress in your life. Well, easier said than done, maybe, but I promise these tips will help!
1. Communication is Key
Open and honest communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It’s about more than just talking; it’s about truly listening and understanding. When we communicate openly, we create a space where feelings, thoughts, and concerns can be shared without fear of judgment. This builds trust and strengthens the bond. Remember, it’s not just about speaking your mind, but also about being an empathetic listener. This can be hard for some people, saying what you mean in a clear way is a skill set that must be honed. If you’re struggling, try writing a letter first, a draft of all the things you need to say so that you’re not word-vomiting all over the other person.
2. Boundaries: Respect Meets Understanding
Respect is fundamental. It’s about acknowledging and appreciating each other’s differences. In any relationship, conflicts are inevitable, but how we handle them makes all the difference. Approach conflicts with a mindset of understanding and a desire to find common ground. Respect each other’s boundaries, and don’t shy away from difficult conversations. Understanding stems from seeing things from the other person’s perspective and validating their feelings.
Remember that boundaries are not rules for the other person, but rather are rules for yourself. Boundaries are having the respect for yourself to follow through on what it is that you need.
A bad boundary looks like: “You’re not allowed to do XYZ.” “You’re not allowed to talk to me that way.”
A good boundary looks like: “XYZ upsets me because ABC. If you continue to do XYZ now that you know that, then I will 123.”
“Utilizing swear words while speaking to me when you’re angry upsets me because it makes me feel unsafe and unloved. If you continue to swear at me when you’re angry, then I will walk away and we can continue any conversation after you’ve calmed down and can speak to me in a calm, respectful way.”
3. Quality Time Together
In our busy lives, it’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and neglect our relationships: workhomeschoolkidscleaningcookingshopping. It all blurs together like that sometimes, doesn’t it? Prioritizing quality time together can be crucial. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures; even small, meaningful moments can make a big difference. Whether it’s a date night, a weekend getaway, or simply cooking a meal together, these shared experiences foster closeness and connection.
4. Shared Goals and Values
Having shared goals and values can significantly strengthen a relationship. It creates a sense of partnership and direction. Sit down and talk about your dreams, aspirations, and values. This doesn’t mean you have to agree on everything, but finding common ground and supporting each other’s individual goals can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
Every now and again my wife will sit down and share what things we want to work on in the house – we’re currently on a journey to shop as small, local, organic as possible. It’s been years since we’ve first shared this as a common shared value/goal, and we are making more progress now that other things have gotten sorted. Having long term shared goals has been one of the best things for my wife and I – we stay motivated and it’s a meaningful way of each of us saying “I care about you, your well-being, and this planet of ours. Let’s work together to make it happen.”
5. Independence and Space
While togetherness is important, so is independence. Healthy relationships allow for personal space and growth. Encourage each other’s interests and hobbies. Having time apart to pursue individual passions not only enriches the relationship but also brings fresh perspectives and excitement. It’s essential to strike a balance between togetherness and independence, ensuring that both partners feel valued and fulfilled.
This doesn’t have to be a huge deal either. Sometimes it’s me trying to play one of her favorite video games. Sometimes it’s just me crocheting on the couch while she’s playing. She sees what I’m making, I get to stay tuned into the storyline of the game.
6. Show Appreciation and Gratitude
Never underestimate the power of appreciation. Regularly expressing gratitude and appreciation for your partner or loved one fosters positive feelings and reinforces your bond. Simple acts of kindness, compliments, and thank yous go a long way. It’s about recognizing and valuing the little things that each person brings to the relationship.
Leave a little thank you note in their lunch box or on their desk or something.
After my birthday party I had last year I made sure to send a thank you postcard to all guests – my wife included. She mentioned that it made her feel really special and loved to have a postcard come to the house instead of me just verbalizing my thank-you to her for helping me to host and cook and clean before our guests arrived.
7. Navigate Challenges Together
Every relationship will face challenges. It’s how we navigate these storms that define the strength of our connection. Approach challenges as a team, rather than adversaries, if you can. Support each other, offer reassurance, and work towards solutions together. Remember that we each handle stress and crises differently. Sit down in advance and ask how each other copes. Does one person go quiet and stoic and shut off emotionally while the other cries and keens? Knowing this in advance can help so much! Also knowing what each person needs during a challenging time will help – will one person need hugs and chatter, while the other needs space to breathe? Learning how to move around each other during difficult times can make going through the hard bits a lot easier!
Final Thoughts
Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of trust, respect, and mutual understanding. They require effort, patience, and a willingness to grow both individually and together. By prioritizing communication, quality time, shared values, and independence, we can nurture relationships that bring joy, support, and fulfillment into our lives.
#RelationshipGoals #HealthyConnections #Empowerment #LoveAndRespect #QualityTime